Stresser du? - Are You Stressed?

Så bliv lige her!

Jeg mener ikke, at du skal blive ved med at læse blogs, men hvor befinder du dig? Du sidder sikkert med iPad'en og føler, at du bør gøre noget andet, og hvis stressen lurer, fordi der er 1000 ting, der skal gøres, føler du måske, at det kan være lige meget, for du kan ikke overkomme det alligevel. Men prøv at stille dig selv disse spørgsmål:

Hvorfor føler du dig stresset? Hvad er det egentligt, du føler, du mangler at gøre.
Find de ting, der trigger dig.
Er det fordi tingene skal være på en bestemt måde? Din måde?
Drejer det sig om, hvordan du ønsker verden skal se dig?
Er det dine omgivelser, der forventer noget af dig? - og gør de overhovedet det, eller er det noget, du tror?
Eller er det dine egne store forventninger, altså selvpåførte pligter.
Har du 15 ting på din to-do liste?

Besvar spørgsmålene så ærligt som du kan.

Måske finder du ud af, at du har sat kravene til dig selv meget højt. Så højt, at du ikke kan honorere dem.

Hvordan verden ser dig, kan du ikke bestemme, uanset hvor meget du prøver! Du kan ikke gøre alle tilfreds, og det skal du sandelig heller ikke. Hvis du gerne vil have verden beskriver dig på en bestemt måde, så arbejder du op ad bakke. Glem alt om, hvad 'verden' tænker, og vær aldrig andet end det, du er. Det er alt for anstrengende. Hvis du så mister venner (så er de ikke venner alligevel) eller bekendte, så må du finde nye, som accepterer dig, som du er. Vær dig selv. Alt andet er umuligt at leve med i længden.

Smid to-do listen væk. Den er bare en ekstra stress-faktor. Skriv i stedet for en 'jeg-har-gjort-liste', når dagen er slut. Glem ikke noget. Heller ikke 'jeg har lagt tøj sammen', for alt tager tid. Du vil blive overrasket over, hvor meget du har lavet!

Men det afstresser selvfølgelig ikke lige nu, så find ud af hvad er absolut nødvendigt at gøre lige nu? Det er ALDRIG at få huset til at se pletfrit ud. Eller at få haven til at lige noget fra et haveblad. Eller at skrive en e-mail til chefen kl. 23.

Jo hurtigere du accepterer, at der altid er noget, der skal laves jo bedre. Men det er dig, der styrer, hvad der er vigtigt lige nu. Måske skal du lige nu lege med dit barn, ringe til dine forældre/ven/veninde, kysse og kramme lidt med din partner, eller at gå ud og putte en vask i vaskemaskinen. Det lyder ikke af meget, men det er den vigtige ting at gøre lige nu.

Når det er gjort, kan du planlægge resten af dagen og kigge på, hvad der absolut skal gøres i morgen. Og så skal du ikke gå længere. Tag små skridt. Husk at bede om hjælp. Det er ikke dig, der alene er udset til at bære verden på dine skuldre.

Største favoritperson er lige startet på 3 måneders fuldtids-barsel med 8 måneder gamle favorit baby. Han største mål i går var at få tømt telefonen for billeder - ud over at passe baby. Det synes jeg, var et godt mål - og det lykkedes. Var huset pletfrit? Næh, men det var pænt. Der var lidt, der ikke havde fundet vej til opvaskemaskinen. Der var også legetøj nogle steder. Baby var glad, og Far var glad.

Små mål er gode! Virkelig gode! Resten bliver nok også klaret - bare man ikke gør problemer ud af dem, og storvasken kan være et bjerg, men man kan starte med at vaske det, som skal bruges i morgen!

Tag dagen, som den kommer. Du behøver ikke at løbe så langt i forvejen. Slip kontrollen, ting sker alligevel. Tag livet, som det kommer. Og bliv i øjeblikket. Ellers går du glip af så meget godt.

Then stay around!

I don't say, that you should continue reading blogs, but where are you? Maybe you are sitting with the iPad feeling, that you should be doing something else, and if the stress is just around the corner, because there are 1000 things to be done, maybe you feel, you cannot overcome the whole thing anyway, so it doesn't matter. Then try to ask yourself these questions:

Why are you stressed? What are the things, you feel, you have to do.
Find the things, which feel like a pressure.
Is it because things have to be en a certain way? Your way?
Is it about, how you want the world to see you?
Or is it 'the world' expecting something from you? - and does it really, or are you just imagining it?
Or is it your own big expectations to yourself = self-inflicted duties.
Do you have 15 things on your to-do list?

Answer the questions as honest as you can.

Maybe you will find out, that you have set your own expectation bar too high. So high that you cannot honor you own demands.

How the world sees you, is not for you to control, no matter how much you try! You cannot please everyone, and you don't have to. If you want the world to see you in a special way, you are working up-hill. Forget all about, what 'the world' thinks, and never be anything but yourself. It is too exhausting. If you loose friends (then they are not friends anyway) or contacts, then you have to find new ones, who will accept you, as you are. Be yourself. Everything else is impossible to live with.

Throw out the to-do list. It is an extra stress-factor. Instead make a 'I-have-done-list' at the end of the day. Don't forget the small things. Not even 'I have folded the laundry', because everything takes time. You will be surprised, how much you have accomplished.

But that doesn't de-stress you right now, so find out what is absolutely necessary to do right now, and that is NEVER to make the house spotless. Or to make the garden look like something out of a magazine. Or to write the boss an e-mail at 11 pm.

The faster you accept, that there always will be things to do, the better. But you are the one to control, what is important right now. Maybe it is playing with you child, call your parents/a friend, kiss and hug your partner - or to go do the laundry. It doesn't sound much, but it is the important thing right now.

When that is done, you can plan for the rest of the day and to take a look at, what is absolutely important to do tomorrow. You don't have to go further. Take small steps. Remember to ask for help. You are not selected to be the one, who has to carry the world on your shoulders.

Biggest favorite person has just started 3 months paternity leave with 8 month old favorite baby. His biggest goal yesterday was to empty the phone for photos - apart from taking care of baby. I think, that it was a great goal - and he succeeded. Was the house spot free? No, but it was more than ok. There was a bit, that hadn't found the way into the dishwasher. There were toys different places. But baby was happy, and Daddy was happy.

Small goals are good! Really good! All the rest will probably also be done - if you don't make problems out of it, and the laundry can be a mountain, but you can start washing, what should be clean tomorrow.

Try to tacle the day, as it comes! You don't have to live in the future. Let go of the control, things happen anyway. Take life, as it comes. Stay in the moment. Otherwise you will miss so many good things.