Frikvarter - Playtime

Jeg har lige været inde i København i det dejligste vejr. Det er en fornøjelse at have tid til at gå stille og roligt i gågaderne. Der var tilstrækkeligt mange mennesker til, at det var hyggeligt, og ikke så mange, at man ikke kunne komme frem.

Når jeg går i gågaderne, bliver jeg altid overrasket over, at der er så mange små forretninger med kunsthåndværk af forskellig art. Jeg forstår ikke helt, at de kan få det til at løbe rundt, men der må jo være kunder nok. Jeg mødte stort set heller ingen mennesker uden bæreposer med forskellige logos. Der var dog en stor smykkeforretning, der holdt lukke-udsalg med 50%, og der var næsten ingen i forretningen. Men det er også det smukkeste solskin.

Solskin frem for shopping! Helt sikkert!

Jeg kom også hjem med en pose med logo. Jeg har brugt et gavekort, som jeg fik til min fødselsdag. Jeg købte en bog: Vesten mod Vesten af Rune Lykkeberg, så jeg håber virkelig, at der bliver lidt læsetid i weekenden.

Så rigtig god weekend til jer alle.

De bygger stadig på Rådhuspladsen - men se hvor mange træer, der kommer! Jeg kan næsten ikke få armene ned!

They are still building on Copenhagen Town Hall Square - but look at the many trees! I cannot get my arms down!

I have just been in Copenhagen in the most beautiful weather. It was a pleasure to have time to walk at a slow speed in the walking streets. There were enough people to make it 'hyggeligt', and few enough not to feel cramped.

When I walk there, I always get so surprised about, that there are so many small shops with crafts of different kinds. I don't quite understand, how they succeed, but there must be customers enough. But then again I actually didn't meet anyone, who didn't have a bag with some kind of logo on it. There was a big jewelry shop though, which had a closing sale with 50% discounts, but there was almost nobody in there. But of course outside was the most beautiful sunshine.

Sunshine before shopping! For sure!

I came home with a bag, too. I have used a gift card, I got for my birthday. I have bought a book written by a Danish newspaper chief editor. He is kind of a rock and roll journalist and a very original analyst of society and the world today. I am looking forward to start reading, so I hope for some time for that during the weekend.

Have a great weekend, all of you.

Ønsker... Ønsker ikke - Want... Want not

Nogen gang går man og ønsker sig noget. Man skriver det ned, eller man kommer i tanker om det, når det er jul, fødselsdag eller anden gaveanledning. Det er noget, som gror mere og mere fast i ens hjerne.

Man har en helt speciel ide om, hvad man vil gøre med det. Hvad man vil sætte det sammen med. Det kan være, hvad som helst. En ting til ens hjem, en ting til ens garderobe. Det kan være alt muligt.

Somme tider siger man til sig selv, at man burde egentlig spare op til den ting, eller begynde at søge efter den på nettet.

Men man får ikke taget sig sammen.

Og pludselig er den der! På gavebordet, på nettet, eller hvordan man nu får den i hænde. Og man bliver glad. Virkelig glad. Nu er det mål nået.

Men måske er der en lille ting, der gnaver i ens indre. Noget, der spørger med meget lille stemme: Hvorfor ønskede du dig egentlig det?

Måske glemte man at se, om ens ønske er så gammel, at man er vokset fra det. Måske glemte man, at ens liv har ændret sig, og det ønskede slet ikke er relevant mere. Eller at du måske var blevet forelsket i en trend.

Så man er glad - med måde. Et mål er nået, men måske var rejsen mod målet det mest spændende. For det var ikke en ting, som man kan pakke væk. Det var en følelse af forventning.

Sometimes you have something on your wish list. You write it down, or you think of it, when it is Christmas, birthday or some other day, which comes with gifts. It is something, which stays on your mind.

You have a very specific idea about, what you want to do with it. What you want to put it together with. It can be anything. Something for your home, something for your wardrobe. It can be everything.

Sometimes you tell yourself, that you should start saving for this thing, or look for it on the internet.

But you don't get around to do it.

And all of sudden it's there! On the gift table, on the net, or which ever way you get hold of it. And you are happy. Really happy. Now you have reached your goal.

But maybe there is a little thing biting inside of you. Something which asks with a very little voice: Why did you actually want this?

Maybe you forgot to see, if your wish had become so old, that you had outgrown it. Maybe you forgot, that your life had changed, and the wanted item wasn't relevant anymore. Or maybe you had fallen in love with a trend.

So you are happy - with moderation. A goal has been reached, but maybe the road to the goal was the most exciting part. Because it was not a thing, it was a feeling. A feeling of expectation.

Et nyt smykke - A New Piece of Jewelry

For nogle år siden gik den halskæde, som jeg altid gik med, i stykker. Jeg fik den i barselsgave af min mor og far med min søns navn indgraveret på bagsiden. Jeg elsker det smykke. Det er en af mine mest værdifulde ting. Men det kan ikke repareres mere. Det er slidt op! Det var et sølvhjerte i en tyk kæde.

Jeg har ikke siden fundet noget, der kunne erstattet det - det er der nu ikke noget, der kan - men for nogen tid siden så jeg en kæde, som jeg ikke har kunnet glemme. Og nu er den blevet min.

Det er den ene del af historien. Men der er en anden historie, der også er fin. Da jeg kom hjem med kæden, fandt jeg ud af, at det hjerte, jeg havde fået med, ikke kunne gå ind over kæden, så jeg måtte af sted igen for at bytte det.

Da jeg kom ind i forretningen fandt jeg ved et tilfælde ud af, at jeg havde fået kæden til en forkert pris. Jeg havde kun givet halvdelen af prisen for den. Jeg blev lidt forlegen ved det, men bestyreren af forretningen sagde, at det var jo ikke min fejl, men deres, så det skulle jeg ikke slet ikke tænke på, og så fik jeg oven i købet procenter på det hjerte, som jeg byttede mig til, og alt skete med et stort smil og fantastisk betjening.

Jeg har en god fornemmelse af, at der følger noget godt med denne hjertehalskæde.

Some years ago I was wearing the same necklace every day - until it broke. The necklace was a present for me from my parents, when I gave birth to my son, and his name was engraved on the backside. I love that necklace. It is one of my most precious belongings. But it is beyond repair. It has been worn to pieces! It was a silver heart in a thick chain.

I haven't since found anything to replace it - nothing actually can - but a while ago I saw a necklace, which I haven't been able to forget. And now it has become mine, and I am very happy about it. I have always loved to wear a heart around my neck.

That is one part of the story. But there is another nice story connected to it. When I come home, I found out, that the heart, I had chosen, was too small for the chain, so I had to go back to the shop to change it.

When I came into the shop, I accidently found out, that I only had paid half price for the chain. I became a bit embarrassed about it, but the shop manager said, that it wasn't my fault, but theirs, so I shouldn't think anything about it, and on top of that I had a discount on the heart, I bought, and everything was done with a big smile and a fantastic service.

I have a good feeling about, that something good follows this heart necklace.

Julegaver - Christmas Gifts

Jo, jeg får også gaver. Normalt bliver jeg spurgt, om jeg ønsker mig noget, og jeg er et temmelig lavpraktisk menneske, så somme tider er der noget, der står til udskiftning, og tæt på jul og fødselsdag ønsker jeg mig så det. Charmerende, nej, måske ikke. Men jeg bliver super glad, og jeg får ikke noget ind i huset, som bare tager plads op, men noget som jeg virkelig ønsker og har brug for, og giveren ved, at gaven bliver brugt.

Jo, jeg giver også gaver. Til de mennesker, jeg holder af. Jeg ved, at for nogle af dem er det bedste, at jeg laver et 'gavekort' på at passe små favoritmennesker med regelmæssige mellemrum, så der  bliver luft til at være et par, der kan gå ud og være voksne for en aften. De synes, at det er skønt, men jeg ved nu ikke rigtig, om det er en gave til dem eller mig, for synes jeg, for jeg synes faktisk, at det er en gave til mig :-)

De små favoritmennesker får selvfølgelig også gaver, og det er ofte noget, som de kan 'gøre' noget med. Jeg kan ikke lide passivt legetøj. Legetøjet skal ikke lege for dem, de skal have mulighed for selv at kreere med det. Og så får de et beløb på deres opsparingskonto.

Der er også nære mennesker i mit liv, som jeg ikke giver gaver. Jeg har en veninde, som jeg har kendt i over 25 år. Hvis vi giver hinanden gaver, er det som regel uden anledning. Hvis jeg står et sted og ser noget, der 'lige er Ruth', så køber jeg det. Men ellers ikke. Det gør bestemt ikke venskabet ringere.

Nu er det jul og gave-ræs, og en virkelig god tid at se på, hvorfor vi giver gaver og ikke mindst hvordan. Gaver kan godt blive lidt tankeløse. Vi kender alle situationen, hvor vi står og er helt blanke i hovedet og slet ikke kan finde ud af, hvad vi kan give onkel Peter, og så køber vi noget, der koster penge, men ender med at være værdiløst, fordi det er tankeløst.

Så lad os tænke lidt på onkel Peter. Hvordan er hans liv skruet sammen? Kommer han ud? Kan han lide at læse? Har han nogen interesser? Skal vi give en invitation til suppe, hvis det er hans favoritmad? Købe en bog? Tage ham med i biografen? Eller hjælpe ham med at male en væg?

Måske skal vi slet ikke give ting, men tid og selskab. Det vil ikke gavne detailhandlen, men jeg er sikker på, at det vil gavne alle os andre - både giver og modtager.

For det er jo ikke noget, der bare skal overstås - vel?

De første gaver er i hus - The first gifts are in house

Yes, I do get presents. Normally I am asked, if I have a wish list, and since I am quite a low practical person, I sometimes want something, which I should have replaced anyway, so that is on my list. Charming? No, maybe not. But I am happy, and I don't get something into my house, which just takes up space, but something which I really want and need, and the giver knows, that the gift will be used.

And yes, I give gifts. To the ones I love. I know, that one of the best things I can do, is to give af'gift card' for taking care of the favorite kiddoes on a regular basis, so the favorite grown ups can have adult nights out. They think,, that it is awesome, but I don't know, if it is a gift for them or me, because I actually think, that the gift is mine.

The small favorite person get presents, of course. They get one each, and it is often something, they can create something with. I don't like passive toys. The toys shouldn't play for them, they should have the possibility to create something with them. And then they get money for their savings account.

There are also close relationships in my life, I don't give gifts to. I have a friend, whom I have known for more than 25 years. We rarely give each other gifts, and if we do, it is normally without any reason. If I am somewhere, where I see something, which is 'totally Ruth', then I buy it. Otherwise not. It doesn't make the friendship less precious.

Now it is Christmas and gift race, and it is a really good time to look at, why we give gifts and how. Gifts can become a bit thoughtless. We all know the situation standing in a shop, totally blank in our heads, not able to find anything to give uncle Peter, and then we buy something, which costs money, but ends up being totally worthless, because it is thoughtless.

So let's think of uncle Peter. How is his life designed? Does he go out dining? Does he like to read? Has he any hobbies? Can we give him an invitation for soup, if this is his favorite food? Buy a book? Take him to the movies? Paint a wall for him?

Maybe we should invest more in giving some of our time and interest instead of giving things. It will not benefit the retailers, but it will benefit all the rest of us - giver as well as receiver. 

Because it is not something, which just should be done with - is it?

Singles Day - Black Friday - Christmas Sales - January Sales and so on!

Singles' Day? Hvorfor nu også det? Ja, det ved vi jo godt. Vi skal købe mere. Og mere! Og så kommer Black Friday! Og gæt, hvad du skal gøre der! For ikke at tale om jul... og januar udsalg.

Jeg kan ikke lade være med at tænke på, hvordan vi KAN blive ved med at købe mere! Hvad er det, vi mangler? 

Der er studier, der viser, at vi kan købe os lykkeligere. Dog kun til en vis grænse. Når vi har nået et bestemt niveau, giver det ikke mere lykkefølelse, og jeg er sikker på, at en stor del af den vestlige verdens befolkning har nået den grænse. Alligevel køber vi videre. Fordi det plejer vi. Det er blevet en fritidsbeskæftigelse.

Jeg kan også undre mig over, at hvis der kan laves den ene prisnedsættelse efter den anden, hvorfor skal vi så give højere priser ind i mellem? For der er ingen, der skal komme og fortælle mig, at der ikke stadig bliver tjent på varerne. Ellers ville de aldrig blive produceret og solgt. Men lav pris vil altid være lig med dårlige materialer og/eller uanstændige lønninger og arbejdsforhold til de, der tilvirker varerne. Anderledes kan det ikke være!

Er det det, vi ønsker os?

Det her er skrevet, fordi jeg bliver helt kvalm ved alle de salgstiltag, der kommer rullende. 

Nu nærmer julen sig, og jeg vil opfordre til at købe julegaver med omtanke. Købe lidt mindre og lidt bedre. At vi vælger bæredygtige varer solgt af firmaer, der har en politik, hvor de ikke udnytter, men gavner andre mennesker.

Så hvis du ikke har akut brug for noget, så boykot Singles' Day og Black Friday. Gør dig selv en tjeneste og spar pengene til noget bedre, som du får brug for i fremtiden.

Vinteren kommer - Winter is coming

Singles' Day?! Why on Earth? Well, we know. We should buy more. And More. And then comes Black Friday. Guess once, what you are going to do there! Not to mention Christmas...and January sales.

I cannot help thinking, how we CAN go on buying all this stuff? What are we missing?

Studies show, that happiness can be bought. To a certain degree. When we reach a certain level, shopping does not give this rush anymore, and I am sure, that this is a level most of the Western world has reached a long time ago. But we keep buying. Because that is what we are used to. It has become a kind of recreational pastime.

I also become skeptical about, how these prices can fluctuate so much. Why do we then have to pay the high prices in between? Nobody is going to tell me, that there still isn't a profit on the goods. Otherwise they never would be produced or sold. But low prices will always be the result of bad materials and/or bad working conditions and low salaries for those, who produces the goods. It cannot be anything else!

Is that what we want?

This is written, because I feel sick about all the sales 'attacks', which comes rolling in.

Christmas is close, and I will encourage you to buy with care. Buy a little less and a little better. I will encourage that we choose sustainable items sold by companies, which have a policy not to exploit, but to benefit others.

So if you don't need anything, please boycott Singles' Day and Black Friday. Do yourself a favor and save the money for something better, which you might need in the future.

Genbrugsforretninger og loppetorv - 2nd Hand Shops and Flea Markets

Ideen om genbrug er fantastisk, men jeg er desværre aldrig rigtig blevet venner med den. Jeg er mere typen, der køber nyt og bruger, til jeg ikke kan være bekendt at bruge det mere, fordi det hænger i laser.

Og der er ting, jeg aldrig kommer til at købe fra de steder. Bl.a. sko, fordi man ikke ved, om den tidligere ejer har haft fodsvamp og tøj, fordi jeg ikke kan med ideen om, at jeg ikke ved, hvem der har brugt det før mig. Hvis jeg ved det, har jeg ingen problemer. Måske lidt neurotisk, men sådan er det, og jeg vil ikke slå krøller på mig selv for at ændre det.

Men 'hårde' varer, som kan gå i opvaskemaskinen, er ok. Så her forleden, da jeg erkendte, at jeg havde behov for nogle nye glas til de små favoritmennesker, gik jeg i vores lokale genbrugsshop. De gamle glas var totalt grå af glaspest.

Jeg fandt 6 små fine glas til en god pris - syntes jeg - og da ville betale, fik jeg at vide, at der var halv-pris-dag! Så jeg var glad.

Det var et godt køb, synes jeg. Lige ind til jeg checkede på nettet, hvad glassene kostede som nye. De var faktisk billigere end den pris, som genbrugsshoppen havde annonceret med, så hvis jeg ikke havde fået yderligere 50% i rabat, ville jeg have givet mere, end hvis jeg havde købt dem som nye!

Hvad kan man så lære af det? Lige meget hvad man køber, skal man synke en gang, trække vejret, undersøge varen og den oprindelige pris - ellers køber man selv genbrug for dyrt.

The idea about buying used things are great, but I never really become totally hooked on it. I am the type, who buys new things, and use/wear them, until I get ashamed, because the item is a total rag.

And there are things, which I would never buy second hand. Shoes is one thing. Because you never know, if the previous owner has athlete's foot, and clothes, because I cannot handle the idea about, that I don't know the person, who has used it before me. If I know the previous owner, I am fine about it. Perhaps a bit neurotic, but that's the way it is, and I will not turn upside down on myself to change it.

But 'hard' items, which can go into the dishwasher, are fine. So here the other day, when I found out, that I needed some new glasses for the small Favorite persons, I went to our 2nd hand shop. The old ones were totally 'sanded down' by the washing machine.

I found 6 small fine glasses for a good price - I thought - and when I was paying, I was told, that it was a 50% discount-day. So I was happy.

A good purchase, I thought. Right until I checked on the internet, what the glasses cost in the shops. They were actually cheaper than the price in the 2nd hand shop, so if I hadn't had 50% in discount, I would have ended up paying more, than I could have bought them for in ordinary shops.

What can one learn from that? Well, no matter what you buy, swallow once, breathe, examine the item and the original price - otherwise you end up buying even used items too expensive.

En ny taske - A New Bag

Jeg køber aldrig souvenirs, når jeg rejser, men jeg køber somme tider noget, som intet har med udlandet eller minder at gøre. Jeg har ikke rigtig nogle bestemte kriterier, men det skal være brugbart. Ikke pynt eller småting, der bare bliver sat til at samle støv på en hylde til 'minde' om turen.

Mange forretninger er de samme i de fleste europæiske byer, uanset hvor man er, så jeg går ikke ud for at shoppe. Men jeg går da rundt i byen og ser på vinduer.

Det tøj, jeg havde på til brylluppet er mørkeblåt, og jeg havde egentlig ikke tænkt mig, at jeg skulle have taske med, men så faldt jeg over en, som var så anderledes, at jeg slet ikke kunne lade være med at købe den. Farven var perfekt, og det satte lidt spræl på mit helt klassiske outfit.

Men når der kommer en ting ind, må en anden komme ud, så nu ryger min sorte Mandarina Duck Tank-taske. Jeg har haft den i mange år, og jeg brugt den ind imellem til festlige lejligheder, men der kan næsten ikke være noget i den, og den er besværlig, når man skal åbne den, uden der falder noget ud.

Lidt nyt en gang i mellem kvikker gevaldigt op.

Dækket med blå pailletter og i to størrelser. Sjov og brugbar. Bliver ikke meget bedre! 

Covered in blue paillettes and two sizes. Fun and useful. Doesn't become much better!

I never buy souvenirs, when I travel, but I do sometimes buy something, which has nothing to do with being abroad or mementos. I don't really have any specific criteria, but it has to be beautiful and useful. Not just something pretty to collect dust on a shelf as a 'memory'.

Many shops are exactly the same in Europe, not matter where you are, so I don't go out with shopping in mind. But I do go wandering around the city, and I do look a shop windows.

The clothes I wore at the wedding last week is dark blue, and I really didn't plan to carry a bag with me, but then I saw this one, which was so different, I couldn't resist buying it. The color is perfect, and it added a little fun to my totally no frills outfit.

But when one thing comes in, another goes, and now my Mandarina Duck Tank bag has finished its time with me. I have had it for many years, and I have used it occasionally at parties, but it holds nothing, and it is difficult to open without things falling out.

A new thing can make a big difference.

Plads til gæst - Room for A Guest

Som I måske kunne se af min blog i sidste uge, har jeg haft overnattende gæst.

Det er en ven, som jeg taler i telefon med ca. en gang om måneden, og vi ser hinanden 1-2 gange om året. Men han er en af de venner, som bare kommer ind af døren, og så kunne han lige så godt have været her altid. De venskaber er ubetalelige.

Vi deler meget af vores syn på tilværelsen og verden i al almindelighed, og så er der emner, hvor vi står laaaaangt fra hinanden - som det bør være i venskaber, hvor man er ærlig, for det er dér man gror, og vi kan diskutere den halve nat. Ikke for at vinde diskussionen, men for at blive klogere på, at der er mange måder at se ting på.

Mine forberedelser var jo mange, fordi min gæstemadras var blevet ødelagt, og det er egentlig den, som denne blog post handler om. For det er den slags gæsteseng (vi taler her om stellet) som ikke  laves mere - såvidt jeg ved. Det gør de måske, men så er det sikkert ikke dyrere end at købe en sovesofa!

Men det handler om at bruge, hvad man har. Ikke altid købe nyt, fordi det er bekvemt, praktisk og måske endda billigere. Det handler om at bygge videre på ting, der er her allerede.

Jeg aner ikke, hvor gammel sengen er, men jeg overtog den fra en ven, som ikke behøvede den mere. Stellet er af metal med tyngde i, og jeg elsker den lille detalje med læderstroppen, der holder sammen på den. Jeg synes, at den er rigtig smuk.

Min gæst sov som en drøm på den og den nye madras, og jeg har stadig ikke noget, der fylder mere end tidligere, så - mission accomplished. Jeg er klar til nye gæster.

Han er en meget maskulin mand, så han havde ingen problemer med sove med pink maske :-)

He is a very masculine man, so he had no problems sleeping with a pink mask :-)

As you might have seen from my blog last week, I have had a guest sleeping over.

He is a friend, I talk with on the phone maybe once a month, and we see each other 1-2 times a year. But he is one of those friends, who just comes in the door, and then it feels, as if he has always been here. Those friendships are priceless.

We share the way we look at life and the world in general in many ways, but there are subjects, where we are so faaar from each other - as there should be in friendships, where honesty thrives, because that is were you grow, and we can discuss all night. Not to win the discussion, but to get wiser, and see that there are many ways to look at things on.

As you know, my preparations were many, because my previous guest mattress was damaged, and it is actually that, this blog is about. Because my guest bed (I am talking about the frame here) is of a kind, which to my knowledge isn't made any more. Maybe they are made, but I am sure that the price is of a kind, where you just as well could buy a sofabed.

It's about using, what you already have. Not to buy something new, because it is convenient, practical and maybe even cheaper. It is about building on items, which are here already.

I have no idea about, how old this bed frame is, but I had it decades ago from a friends, who didn't need it any more. The frame is heavy metal, and I love the little detail with the leather strap, which holds it together. I think, that it is really pretty.

My guest slept like a dream on it with the new mattress, and I still just have something, which doesn't take up more space than before, so - mission accomplished. I am ready for new guests.

For meget umage? - Too Much Effort?

En rigtig god ven, som man kun ser et par gange om året, ringer og siger, at han kommer til byen for at deltage i et møde og spørger, om han kan overnatte. Han ved ikke rigtig, hvornår han ankommer og rejser endnu, men er det ok? Man bliver super glad og siger selvfølgelig ja.

Så begynder forberedelserne!
Hvor skal han sove - hvis man ikke lige har et gæsteværelse?
Har man noget, han kan sove på, eller skal man ud og låne?
Man skal have vasket (og hvis man er mig :-) skal man også have strøget) sengetøj.
Købt ind til en mand ekstra. Madplan overvejes.
Måske trænger man til en ny rullemadras? Ja, det gør man! Ud og købe.
Madrassen, som har stået i kælderen, lugter lidt muggent, gør den ikke? Ud at købe en ny folde madras!
Venner, der også gerne vil hilse på, bliver inviteret til middag.
Så op og i gang.

En uge senere ringer vennen op og siger, at mødet, han skal deltage i, er om eftermiddagen, så han ankommer sent, og han skal afsted næste dag ved 10-tiden, så han skal sådan set kun lige crashe på sofaen en nat!

Godt så!

Hvordan kan det være, at jeg gik sådan i selvsving? Selvfølgelig i første omgang fordi jeg sætter pris på min ven. I anden omgang fordi jeg gerne vil have styr på situationen og give ham en god oplevelse. For det tredie fordi jeg gerne vil lave et 'perfekt' ophold.

Men næste gang tror jeg alligevel, at jeg vil tage det lidt mere ovenfra og ned, og det har intet at gøre med min ven. Det har udelukkende noget med mig at gøre. Men han er en af mine bedste venner, så alt det her var ikke nødvendigt.

Men vi skal have mørbrad i løgsauce og dessert, og jeg har en ny foldemadras og en ny rullemadras, så kom endelig og overnat!

A really good friend, whom you only see a couple of times a year, calls telling you, that he is coming to town for a meeting and asks, if he can spend the night. He doesn't really know arrival and departure yet, but is it OK? You are thrilled, and of course you say yes.

Then the preparations start!
Where is he going to sleep - if you don't have a guest room?
Do you have something, he can sleep on, or do you have to borrow?
Do you have any clean bed linen (and if you are me :-) you also iron the sheets)?
Food for one more person. Food plan is under consideration.
Maybe you need a new top mattress? Yes, you do. Go for it.
The mattress in the basement, does it smell a bit moldy? Yes, go get a new folding mattress!
Friends, who want to say hello to him, are invited for dinner.
Get going.

A week later your friend calls and say, that the meeting he is attending, is in the afternoon, so he will arrive late, and he is leaving the next day at 10, so he is sort of only need the sofa for one night!

OK, right!

How come, that I went totally overboard in arrangements? Of course because I really appreciate this person. Second because I want to be in control of the situation and give him a good experience. Third because I wanted to make it a 'perfect' stay.

But next time I think, that I will be a bit more laid back, and that has nothing to do with my friend. It is all about me. But he is one of my best friends, so all this fuss wasn't necessary.

But we are going to have tenderloin in onion sauce and dessert, and I have a new folding mattress and a top mattress, so do come and stay over!

Køber du pynt? - Do You Buy Knickknacks?

Jeg har en veninde, der klager over manglende plads i skabe og skuffer. Hun siger selv, at hun ikke køber ret meget og aldrig store ting . Hun køber bare lidt 'hygge'. "Det er jo dejligt at pynte op og forny. Ellers bliver det hele så trist."

Det kan hun jo have ret i. Hun vil typisk købe lidt stearinlys, nogle nye lunch servietter eller en lille dug, et par søde lysestager, et par potteplanter i nogle søde zink urtepotteskjulere, og hendes borddækning er altid ny og spændende. Hun er så god til det.

Men uden at tænke på det akkumulerer hun ting, for når man ser på hendes indkøb, er det kun stearinlysene og potteplanterne, der er forgængelige. Bagefter skal der findes plads til lunch servietterne, lysestagerne og urtepotteskjulerne. Sammen med alle de foregående hygge-indkøb.

Tænk over det, når du køber lidt nyt til at friske op med. Tænk på at købe noget, der er forgængeligt. Pynt et frugtfad. Køb stearinlys i en ny farve. Sæt en potteplante i en urtepotteskjuler, som du allerede har. Køb blomster til den vase, der står inderst i skabet allerede.

Brug det, du har. Så sparer du både plads og penge.

I have a girlfriend, who always complains about not having enough space in her closets and cabinets. She claims, that she doesn't buy very much, and she never buys big things. She is just buying a bit of  'hygge'. "It is nice to decorate and get something new. Otherwise everything becomes so boring."

And that is true. She will typically buy some candles, new place mats or a small table cloth, a pair of pretty candle holders, and couple of plants in decorative zinc pots, and her lunch table decorations are always new and beautiful. She is definitely very good at it.

But without thinking about it she is accumulating stuff, because when you look at her purchases, it is only the candles and the plants, which are going to disappear. She will have to find space for the table mats, the candle holders and the pots. On top of all the previous 'hygge'-purchases.

Think about it, when you want to buy something to brighten you home.. Buy something, which will not take space up after use. Make a fruit platter. Buy candles in a new color. Put a new plant in a pot, which you have. Buy flowers for the vase, which is standing in the back of the kitchen cabinet already.

Use what you have. You will save space and money.

Fantasi-krop - Fantasy Body

I dag har jeg været inde i byen for at se på bryllupstøj. Rolig nu, det er ikke mig, der skal giftes, men jeg er så heldig at være blevet inviteret til bryllup i udlandet i september. Det er sydpå, så jeg var ude og se på festligt sommertøj.

Der er meget hvidt tøj i butikkerne, men det duer jo ikke til brylllup. Det gør sort heller ikke, og jeg er ikke rigtig til de mange blomstrede ting, som er fremme nu.

Men det var ikke problemet. Det var, at jeg altid falder for det, som var smart til mig, da jeg var yngre. Jeg er høj, og jeg var meget slank. Et siv! Jeg har stadig lange slanke arme og lange slanke ben, men på midten er jeg ikke som før! Taljen er ikke helt så markeret mere.

Så jeg prøvede en del kjoler og forskellige sæt med bukser, men der var ikke rigtig noget, som jeg syntes klædte mig. Jeg skulle heldigvis også købe nogle t-shirts og en skjorte som erstatning for nogle ting, der var slidt op. Helt ned til at to af de aflivede t-shirts er blevet til klude! Det lykkedes mig heldigvis at finde noget pænt!

Så jeg skal gentænke. Jeg er ikke den, jeg var. Jeg er, som jeg er nu. Ikke noget body-shaming her. Men en ting er at købe en t-shirt og et par jeans. En anden ting er at købe noget smukt festtøj, som klæder mig, og som også føles godt at have på.

Så jeg søger videre.

Hvidt og marine - det går man ikke fejl af, men det er jo ikke bryllupstøj!

White and blue - then you don't go wrong, but it is not wedding clothes!

Today I was in Copenhagen shopping for wedding clothes. Easy now, I am not the one to get married, but I am so lucky, that I have been invited to a wedding in another country in September. It is down south, so I was out looking for festive summer clothes.

There is a a lot of white clothes, which doesn't work for a wedding. Neither does black, and I am not really fond of all the flower patterns going on now.

But that wasn't the problem. The problem is, that I always fall for items, which was looking good on me, when I was younger. I am tall, and I was very slim. I still have long slim arms and long slim legs, but the middle is not like before! My waist is not quite as it used to be.

I tried on a lot of dresses and trouser suits, but nothing really worked for me. Luckily I also was out to get a couple of t-shirts and a shirt, which are replacements for worn out pieces, of which two t-shirts now are made into rags. Fortunately, I was lucky to find something really nice in that area.

But I have to rethink. Because I am not the one, I once was. I am the one, I am now. No body-shaming here. But it is one thing to buy a t-shirt or a pair of jeans. And another thing to buy something beautiful for a wedding, which makes you look good, and also feels nice to wear.

So I keep looking.

Sommersko - Summer Shoes

I dag har vi regnvejr og 7 grader, og jeg har lige fået lavet sommerfødder og indkøbt sommersko. Så nu håber jeg på, at sommeren snart kommer igen.

Lavet sommerfødder betyder, at jeg har fået ordnet mine fødder og fået fransk lak på tåneglene. De er så fine.

Indkøbet af sommersko startede som en negativ oplevelse og endte med en positiv oplevelse. Jeg havde købt et par vinterstøvler i en forretning inde i København (Gabor på Kgs. Nytorv), og i løbet af 3½ måned havde jeg slidt hul igennem sålen på hælen - på begge støvler. Nok er jorden rund, men alligevel. Så jeg klagede. Det vil sige, jeg afleverede støvlerne inde i forretningen, og de sagde, at de ville ringe til mig. Opkaldet kom, og det var: Du kan bare komme ind og købe andre sko eller få et tilgodebevis! God service og sød betjening. Kan man bede om mere.

Så jeg fandt noget nyt. Jeg købte et par sandaler næsten magen til dem, jeg havde slidt ned og et par mokkasiner, som er helt neutrale - tæt på det kedelige, men af den slags man slider til døde, og sammen med mine UGG sneakers fra sidste år, er jeg dækket ind.

Heldige mig!

Jeg tror, at de er 10 år gamle. De skal ud... uden mig

 I think, that they are 10 years old. They are leaving... without me

Slidt ned - Worn down

Slidt ned - Worn down

Min nye sommersko - My new summer shoes

Three in - Three out

Today it is 7 degrees C and raining, and I have just had my 'summer-feet' made and bought new summer shoes. So I hope, that the summer comes back again soon.

'Summer-feet' means, that I have had a pedicure and a French lacquer. It is so pretty.

The purchase of summer shoes this time started with a negative experience and ended with a positive one. I had bought a pair of winter boots in a shop in Copenhagen (Gabor at Kgs Nytorv), and when I had worn them for 3½ months, there was holes through the sole - on both heals. I know that the world is round, but not that much, so I complained. Sort of. I brought the boots to the shop, and they would call me. The call came, and the message was: Come a find something else or get a gift card for later! Good service and very nice shop people. Can you ask for more.

So I found something new. I got a pair of sandals almost like the ones, I had worn down and a pair of casual shoes, quite neutral - close to boring, but the kind you wear to death. So together with my UGG sneakers from last year, I am covered.

Lucky me!

En ny ting til hjemmet - A New Item for the Home

Det er jo ikke det, jeg helst gør, men jeg har købt en ting, der skal findes plads til. Nu lyder det af så meget, og det er ikke noget stort og livsvigtigt... eller måske er det?

På min vej til et (mere) plasticfrit hjem finder jeg i ny og næ en ting, som jeg bliver nødt til at afprøve, og denne lille kontainer har fundet sin plads i mit skab. Den er købt hos Gå Grøn, som har mange spændende produkter, og jeg er allerede helt vild med den. Et minus - låget går ikke i opvaskemaskine, men det er til at leve med. Det tager jo kun et nanosekund at vaske det op i hånden.

Selvfølgelig skal der så ryge en plastic kontainer, så jeg har plads, og jeg har faktisk flere, der har revnede låg og andre skavanker.

Jeg har stadig plastic ting i mit køkken, fordi når de nu en gang er produceret, og så kan jeg lige så godt bruge dem, indtil deres levetid er omme, før jeg afleverer dem i plastic-skraldet på kontainerpladsen. Alt andet ville være dobbelt spild. Jeg er dog (næsten) sikker på, at ingen af mine madkontainere indholder hormonforstyrrende stoffer. Ikke særlig rart at skrive, faktisk! Nu får jeg helt lyst til at hyle det hele ud.

Men jeg glæder mig til at bruge denne lille fyr, så den bliver skrammet og ridset på den gode måde.

Så rigtig god weekend til jer alle sammen - og hvis I går på loppetorv og køber ind, så undlad at købe plasticting. Især legetøj.

Forresten, denne 'reklame' er ikke sponsoreret!

By the way, this 'ad' isn't sponsered!

It's not something, which I like to do, but I have bought something, which I have to find space for. Now it sound very big, but it isn't something vital... or maybe it is?

On my path to get a (more) plastic free home I now and again find a thing, which I have to try out, and this little container has found its place in my kitchen cabinet. It is bought at Go Green, which is Danish, but I am sure, that I have seen similar containers at Amazon. There are many different good products like this, and I am already over the top happy about this one. One minus - you have to wash the lid by hand, but that is fine. It doesn't take a nanosecond to do so.

Of course I have to get rid of a plastic container now, so I have space, and I actually have several, which have damaged lids and other flaws.

I still have plastic items in my kitchen, because now that they have been produced, I can just as well use them, until their lifespand is over, before I put them into the plastic trash at the garbage site. Anything else would be waste. And I am (almost) sure, that none of my food containers contain hormone disturbing substances. Not really nice to think about, actually! Now I want to throw them all!

But I am looking forward to using this little thing, so it gets it scratches in the good way.

So have a really nice weekend All of You - and if you go to a flee market to shop, then leave the plastic things behind. Especially toys.

Når man er nødt til at shoppe! - When You Have To Shop!

Nogle gange er man nødt til at shoppe! Det var jeg nødt til i sidste uge.

Jeg har 3 skåle i forskellige størrelser, og jeg bruger dem alle sammen, men i forrige uge var jeg uheldig at tabe den mellemste, og den stod ikke til at redde.

Jeg fandt hurtigt ud af, at det er bøvlet for mig ikke at have en skål i den størrelse, og jeg gik på jagt efter en ny. Den skulle have samme størrelse som den gamle, og den skulle være hvid.

Jeg gik først i de lokale genbrugsbutikker, men der var ingen hvide skåle. Så gik jeg i forretninger, og jeg fandt en del skåle, men faktisk ikke så mange som jeg havde regnet med, og de var alle sammen i nogenlunde samme priskategori.

En skål havde dog nogle fordele frem for de andre. Royal Copenhagen's Hvid Riflet. Det er et klassisk stel, som vil blive produceret i mange år endnu (hvis jeg nu smadrer flere skåle!), og der er brudgaranti. Det vil sige, at hvis den går i stykker inden for de næste 2 år, vil jeg få den erstattet!

Så her er min nye skål. Enkel, smuk og anvendelig - eller 'bare' en hvid skål.

Rigtig god weekend!

Sometimes you just have to shop! I had to last week.

I have 3 bowls in different sizes, and I use them all, but last week I was unlucky losing the middle size one on the floor, and it wasn't to be saved.

I quickly found out, that it was really annoying for me not to have a bowl this size, and I went bowl hunting. It should have a certain size, and it should be white.

First I went to the local 2nd hand shops, but there were not white bowls. Then I went to different shops, and there were some bowls, not not quite as many as I expected, and they were all in the approx. the same price range.

One bowl had some advantages to the others. Royal Copenhagen's White Fluted. It is a classic dinnerware, which will be produced any years to come (if I break one of the others ones!), and they give a breakage guarantee. This means, that if your break something, you can have it replaced within 2 years.

So here is my new bowl. Simple, beautiful and very versatile - or 'just' a white bowl.

Have a nice weekend!

Overlagt shopping - Deliberate Shopping

Som jeg sagde for ganske få dage siden, fatter jeg ikke mode, og det gør jeg stadigvæk ikke. Men jeg forsøger at gøre nogle gode valg.

Favoritfamilien holder barnedåb denne måned, og den danske sommer kan være lunefuld, så jeg har bestemt mig for at tage en bluse på, der også kan bruges som en jakke. Så kan jeg knappe op, hvis det bliver varmt.

Det kræver selvfølgelig, at jeg har en top på nedenunder, og sådan en har jeg købt. Jeg gennemgik dem, jeg havde og kom til konklusionen, at de faktisk var lidt ynkelige!

Min nye top er en Rosemunde, og nej, jeg er ikke sponsoreret. Toppen er uden pynt, men de findes også med den sødeste blondekant og i mange farver. De er vellavede, behagelige, anvendelige, og så holder de sig pæne meget, meget længe. Desuden er de ikke vanvittigt dyre og er lavet af 70% silke og 30% bomuld. Så hvad skulle man dog kunne klage over?

Det er en god fornemmelse at komme hjem med noget, man på forhånd ved, er godt.

p.s. - og nu må jeg gennemgå mine gamle toppe med friske øjne og se, om der er flere 'ynkelige' eksemplarer og finde ud af, om de er så brugte, at man ikke en gang kan være bekendt at aflevere dem i genbrugsshoppen. Men hvis det er sådan, så må man jo sige, at de har gjort deres job!

As I said a couple of days ago, I don't get fashion, and I still don't. But I try to make good choices.

The Favorite Family is having a christining for Favorite Baby this month, and as the Danish summer is rather unpredictable, I have decided to wear a blouse, which also can be used as a jacket. Then I can unbotton it, if it gets too hot.

Of course that demands that I wear a top underneath, and I have bought one. I went through the ones I had and came to the conclusion, that they actually are rather 'pathetic'.

The new top is a Rosemunde, and no, I am not sponsered. The top is quite simple, but you can also get them with the sweetest lace trimmings and in a lot of colors. They are well made, comfortable, very versatile, and they stay nice looking for a very long time. Furthermore they are not very expensive and are made of 70% silk and 30% cotton. What's to complain about!

It is a good feeling to bring something home, which you beforehand know, is good!

p.s. - and now I have to go through all my tops with fresh eyes and find out, if there are more 'pathetic' ones, and find out, if they are so worn down, that you cannot even give them to the second hand shop. But if that's the way it is, then you can of course say, that they have done their job!

Design kopier - Design Copies

Jeg er helt med på, at vi alle køber kopier af møbler, tøj, sko, køkkenudstyr osv.  Noget bliver vist i en eksklusiv udgave, og straks er der nogle, der kopierer. Sådan opstår trends.

Men der må være grænser. Når jeg ser en sko, som den nedenfor på fotoet, spørger jeg mig selv, hvordan en producent kan finde på at producere sådan noget. Jeg spørger mig selv, hvordan en forretningsindehaver kan finde på at købe varen ind, og til sidst spørger jeg mig selv, hvem i alverden der ønsker at gå med sådan en sko. Den er af tydelig dårlig kvalitet, der prøver at give sig ud for at være noget, den ikke er!

Men, men, men - der må jo være kunder til den. Ellers blev den ikke produceret.

Jeg har en bekendt, der tog til et land i Asien og købte en kopi af en Vuitton taske. Den var ganske veludført, men det, der afslørede den, var syningerne på remmene. Den havde kostet en tiendedel af en original Vuitton taskes pris - som er himmelhøj, ingen diskussion om det - men hun overvejede faktisk at få sin skomager til at sy nogle flotte remme og sætte dem på, så den kunne gå for at være en original!

Der falder min kæde totalt af! Hvis man så gerne vil følge med den strøm, der føler trang til at vise ting frem, så køb dog en original. Alle genkender en kopi.

Men desværre er det os forbrugere, der gør, at sådan noget finder sted, og derfor er det også os, der kan standse det. Enten ved at købe en original, eller at købe noget, der ikke har et navn, men 'bare' er godt håndværk.

- og selvom indersålen er løs, er prisen stadig høj!

- and even though the inner sole is loose, the price is still high!

I am totally aware, that we all buy copies of furniture, clothes, shoes, kitchen ware etc. Something new is shown in an exclusive version, and immediately somebody else will copy. That's how trends appear.

But we have to draw a limit. When I see a shoe, as the one on the photo above, I ask myself, how somebody even get the thought to produce something like this. I ask myself, how a shopkeeper can buy it for his/her store, and then I ask myself, who in the world wants to wear such shoes. It is obviously bad quality pretending to be something it is not!

But, but, but, there are probably a customer for it out there. Otherwise it wouldn't be produced.

I have an acquaintance, who went on holiday to an Asian country and bought a copy of a Vuitton bag. It was quite well made, but what gave it away was the stiching on the handles. The bag had cost a tenth of an original Vuitton bag - which price is sky high, no discussion about that - but she actually considered making her shoemaker make new handles, so it would look like an original. 

That's where I totally flip! If you need to show off, then buy originals. Everybody recognize a copy. 

But infortunately it is us, the consumers, who make this possible, and therefore it is us, who can stop it. Either buy an original, or buy something which hasn't got a name, but 'just' is good craftmanship.

Pudderfarvede sneakers - Powder Colored Sneakers

Efter alt dramaet med posten i fredags, se foregående blogpost, er jeg nu blevet ringet op af postbudet, og han var meget ked af det! Og så er den ikke længere. Han har lovet, at han aldrig gør sådan noget igen og ville iøvrigt gerne komme ud og hjælpe mig med at få pakken ud!

Men den er ude, som I ved, og skoene er fine. Så fine, at jeg bare må vise dem her. Min plan var at købe nogle hvide, men jeg synes, at de her måske er lidt mere diskrete, meget sommerlige - og samtidig lidt anderledes.

Solen skinner i dag, så jeg tror, at de skal 'søsættes'.

Hav en dejlig mandag!

p.s. - og selvfølgelig ryger de gamle sneakers ud. One in - One out!

After all the drama with the post last Friday, see the previous blogpost, I had a call from the postman, and he was very sorry! And then that's it! He has promised, that he never will do anything like this again and offered to come out and help me get the package out!

But as you know it is out, and the shoes are fine. So fine, that I will show you the photo. My plan was to have bought white ones, but I thought, that these are a bit more discrete, and very summer like - and at the same time a bit different.

The sun is shining today, so I think that they will have their launch today.

Have a great Monday!

p.s. - and of course the old sneakers goes. One in - One out!

Nye sko - New Shoes

For et par uger siden fortalte jeg om mine oplevelser med en stylist, og her er så skoene, som jeg beholdt! De får det til at se ud, som om jeg har lidt hæl på, hvilket jo altid er klædeligt, men mine fødder kan godt klare den lille vinkel.

Jeg er rigtig glad for dem - og nu skal jeg 'bare' finde det out-fit, som jeg har planlagt, jeg skal have på til en stor fest i august.

Rigtig god Skt. Hans og god weekend til alle. Håber, at vejret holder tørt, og at I får en dejlig aften.

Jeg har ikke planlagt at have gamle jeans på! - I don't plan to wear old jeans!

A couple a weeks ago I told about my experience with a stylist, and here are the shoes I kept. They make me look, as if I am wearing a bit of heal, which always looks good, but my feet can easily take that little angle

I am really happy with them - and now I 'just' have to find the out-fit, which I have planned to wear to a big party in August.

I wish you a great weekend. Here in Denmark we celebrate Sankt Hans tonight, which means that we have bonfires, where we burn the witches, but it seems, that the weather will prevent that a bit today with very fine rain falling :-(

Ubrugte gryder og gamle kaffestel - Un-used Pots and Old Coffe Sets

Jeg var på besøg hos en god ven i går, som så småt er i gang med at minimere sine ting, og under samtalen nævnte jeg, at jeg havde fundet et 'gryde', som jeg pludselig havde opdaget, at jeg aldrig bruger. Helt klart bevis på manglende brug: Støv! Og det er ikke godt på køkkengrej :-) - men det er fordelen ved åbne hylder: Der er ikke støv på de ting, man bruger!

Det medførte, at min ven så ud, som om jeg havde opfundet noget nyt. Hun udbrød: "Selvfølgelig, næste trin er mine køkkenskabe".

Så fortalte hun, at hun var i gang med at pakke sin afdøde mors kaffestel ned for at sætte det i kælderen. Før jeg kunne sige noget, tilføjede hun, at hendes søn havde udtrykt ønske om at få det, men da han ikke har plads nu, men regner med at få det, skulle det blive i hendes kælder indtil da. Jeg synes, at det er en virkelig god løsning, for der er - for hendes vedkommende - nu taget hånd om, hvad der skal ske med kaffestellet, og det er ikke hendes mere. Men det fungerer kun, hvis der rent faktisk er lavet en aftale om, at det egentlig tilhører en anden. 

Men tilbage til min 'gryde' - så skal den til genbrugsshoppen, og bradepanden går i metal-containeren, da der nu er ridset igennem belægningen. 

Så jeg skal ud og se på en ny bradepande, og jeg har ide om, at det skal være en rustik fransk 'sag'. 

I was visiting a friend last night, who slowly, but surely, has started minimizing her stuff, and during the evening I mentioned, that I had found a big 'pot', which I suddenly had notice, that I wasn't using. Clear evidence of lacking use: Dust! Not good for kitchenware :-) - but that is the advantage of open shelves: The things, you use, do not collect dust!

That make my friend lighten up, as if I had discovered something new, and she yelled: "Of course, next step is my kitchen cabinets".

Then she told me, that she was packing her late mother's coffee set to put it in the basement. Before I could say anything, she added, that her son had expressed, that he wanted it, but he hasn't got the space now, but eventually will, and it would stay in her basement until then. I think, that it is a really good solution, because - for her - it has been taken care of, and it doesn't belong to her anymore. But it only works, if there is a clear deal about, that it actually belongs to somebody else.

But back to my 'pot' - it goes to the 2nd hand shop, and the baking pan goes to the metal-container, because of the scratches in the bottom.

So I am going to have a new baking pan, and I am planning to buy a French rustic one.

Mine børn skal have det bedste - My Children deserve The Best

Det her er et impulstivt blog-indlæg. Jeg har lige set en genudsendelse af Luksusfælden. Jeg kan egentlig ikke lide den slags udsendelser, men den her fangede mig.

Den handlede om et par, der havde en god indtægt og alligevel var havnet i dyb gæld af den værste slags, som de dækkede ved at tage flere lån. En økonomisk nedadgående spiral. Da deres forbrug var gjort op, viste det sig, at de brugte en trediedel af deres indtægt på - ja, hvad skal man sige - ingenting! De købte ting! Ting og tøj! Flere gange om ugen.

Undskyldningen var, at det er for børnenes skyld. Det kan jeg bare ikke acceptere.

Det er fuldstændigt rigtig af os at ønske det bedste for vores børn. Men hvad er det? Er det ikke at opbygge mennesker, der kan klare sig selv? At gøre dem flyvefærdige, give dem gå-på-mod og en følelse af at de er gode nok uanset, hvad der sker.

Eller er det, at vi, som forældre, sætter os i gæld for at kunne købe ting til dem i tide og utide, fordi det skulle gøre dem lykkeligere? Det holder ikke en meter. Det eneste vi lærer dem krævementalitet.

"Men mine børn skal ikke føle, at de ikke kan få det samme som de andre børn". Det er stadig ikke den rigtige indstilling, for vi kan ikke alle sammen få alt. Sådan er det, og hvis man først opdager det som voksen, så har vi været dårlige forældre. For sådan er livet. Vi får ikke alle sammen det samme. Men vi kan lære vores børn at arbejde for at få, hvad de ønsker sig.

Jeg er ud af en ganske almindelig arbejderfamilie, og jeg er fra en tid, hvor jeg skrev ønskeseddel til jul og fødselsdag, og ellers fik jeg faktisk ikke gaver. Jeg kunne få en påklædningsdukke i ny og næ, eller min mor kunne strikke en kjole til en af mine dukker, eller måske fik jeg et sjippetov, når vi var på ferie, men gaver var på ingen måde hverdagskost. Sådan var det for de fleste.

Og det var ok, for det har absolut intet med kærlighed at gøre!

Kærlighed er nærvær. Kærlighed er at lære vores unger at klare sig selv. Kærlighed er at styrke deres evner og at lære dem at acceptere, at de kan ikke blive verdensmestre i alt - og at der også er ok. Kærlighed er at være der, når noget går galt og hjælpe dem på ret kurs igen. Kærlighed er at fejre over deres sejre. Kærlighed er at lære dem, at man ikke kommer sovende til noget - heller ikke legetøj eller ture til Disneyland.

Kærlighed er ikke gaver! Det er forældres behov for at shoppe og/eller at prøve at leve op til noget, som man reelt ikke kan. Det kaldes at leve på en løgn, og det er der aldrig nogen børn, der er blevet lykkeligere af.

'Køb' ikke dine børn. Elsk dem betingelsesløst og vær ærlig. Dét er kærlighed.

This is an impulsive blog post. I have just watched a re-run of a show called the Luxury Trap. I don't really like watching these shows, but this one caught me.

It was about a couple, who had a good income and was in deep debts anyway. Debts of the worst kind, which they covered by taking more loans. A downwards going economical spiral. When their budget was made, it revealed, that they were using a third of their income on - well, how can you put it - nothing! They bought stuff! Stuff and clothes! Several times a week.

The excuse was, that they did it for the children. I cannot accept that.

Of course we should want to do the best for our kids. But what is that, exactly? Isn't it to help build the best persons, who can take care of themselves? To make them able to fly, to give them courage and a feeling that they are ok, no matter what happens.

Or is it, that we, as parents, put ourselves into debts to buy them gifts all the time, because it should make them happier? That isn't how it works. The only thing we teach them is to become demanding.

"But I don't want my children to feel, that they cannot have the same things as other children". It is still not the right attitude, because we will not all have everything. That is how it is, and if you have to grow up, before you find that out, then we have been bad parents. Because that is how life is. Not all of us get the same. But we can teach our children to for work for, what they want.

I am a kid from a normal working class family, and I am from a time, where I would write wishlists for birthdays and Christmas, and otherwise I wouldn't get gifts. I would occationally get a paper doll, or my mother would knit a dress for one of my dolls, or I would get a jumping robe for the holidays, but gifts were not an everyday thing. And if was like that for most kids.

And it was ok, because it has absolutely nothing to do with love!

Love is presence. Love is to teach our kids to take care of themselves. Love is to strengthed their talents and teach them to accept, that they will not become world champions in everything - and that it is ok, too. Love is to be with them, when things go wrong and help them on course again. Love is to celebrate their victories. Love is to teach them, and nothing comes for free - like gifts or trips to Disneyland.

Love is not gifts. That is parents' need to shop and/or to try to live up to something, which they really cannot. That is called living a lie, and no kid ever got happier from that.

Don't 'buy' your children. Love them unconditionally and be honest. That is Love.