Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Vær tro mod dig selv - Be True to Yourself

Det bliver en lidt længere historie i dag, for jeg vil gerne fortælle en autentisk historie om et ungt par:

De var flyttet fra landet til byen for at studere. Mødte hinanden, sød musik opstod, og de flyttede sammen på et værelse. Da deres uddannelser var færdige, fandt de en dejlig lille lejlighed midt inde i en pulserende hovedstad. De blev gift og fik 2 børn hurtigt efter hinanden.

De elskede at være, hvor de var, og de synes, at det fungerede godt med børnene. De gik i parken og legede, til havnen, mødte vennerne på cafeer, tog på stranden og oplevede alle byens tilbud. De tænkte aldrig for alvor på at flytte tilbage til landet. Livet i byen var enkelt og godt.

En stor del af vennerne begyndte at købe hus og flyttede. Nu var de 'færdige' med byen! Og så begyndte spørgsmålene at komme, om de ikke også snart skulle have et hus med have. 'Luft til børnene', mere plads og tættere på familien. Men de var stadig ikke parate til at flytte.

Så kom det: Tredje barn i maven. De begyndte at søge efter en større lejlighed i byen, men priserne på lejligheder var steget, så det ville blive økonomisk hårdt.

Samtidig var der nogen i familien, der havde fundet et hus på landet, som kun var ca. 50 km fra byen. Et dejligt hus tæt på natur, strand og familien.

Beslutningen om at flytte ikke blev rigtig vel gennemtænkt. Det skete bare! For der var masser af gode argumenter, der overdøvede tvivlen. Beslutningen kom krybende som en slags 'nu-har-vi-fået-børn-og-burde-bo-i-hus-krise'. Nu var de også blevet påvirket af, at der var så mange i vennekredsen, der var flyttet. Måske var det godt at skifte fra storby til natur.

De flyttede, og alle omkring dem reagerede med at sige velkommen 'hjem'. Men de følte sig alt andet end hjemme. De følte, at de var flyttet til Australien. Og følelsen holdt sig, selvom de hele tiden ventede på, at nu måtte de da snart føle sig hjemme. 

Alle kom og hjalp med at sætte huset i stand, og det blev så fint. Det var også dejligt at have familien, der droppede ind. Så kom en med et hjemmebagt brød, så kom en anden med blomster fra haven og vennerne, der stadig boede i byen, kom på besøg, og så blev der sludret, og børnene legede udenfor.

De håber stadig på, at de nok skal 'falde til' en dag. At de vil vænne sig til at bo på landet. Men følelsen af at savne byen er ikke forsvundet. Efter 4 år på landet længes de stadig tilbage.

Det kan føles utaknemmeligt, når man har et godt liv i et godt hus, der ligger et dejligt sted, men det får ikke følelsen til at forsvinde. De er ærlige omkring det. De lod sig suge ind i, hvad alle andre gjorde. Lod sig rive med. Og de glemte at føle efter indeni.

Dette her er ikke en historie om, at det er bedst at bo i byen og dårligt at bo på landet. For historien kunne være vendt om. Det er helt ligegyldigt.

Det er udelukkende en historie om, at man skal være tro mod sig selv og de følelser, der er forbundet med familie, venner, hjem, job, fritid. Alt det, vi fylder vores liv med og som gør vores liv meningsfulde og rige.

Gør ikke som alle andre! Gør det, der føles rigtigt for dig og dine kære.


The story today is going to be a bit longer than usual, because I want to tell an authentic story about a young couple:

They had moved from the country to the city to study, met eachother, fell in love, and they moved in together in a rented room. They finished their educations, found a small flat in the inner city in the roaring city. They got married and had 2 children over a very short period.

They thought that life in the city worked very well with the kid. They went to parks to play, to the harbour, met friends at caffees, went to the beach and used all the offers of the city. They never thought about moving back to the coutryside. They loved to be, where they were, and life in the city was simple and good.

A big part of their friends started to buy houses and moved out. Now they were 'done' with the city! And then the questions started coming, if they shouldn't also buy a house. 'Fresh air for the children', more space and closer to the family. But they weren't ready to move.

Then it came: Third child on the way. They started to look for a bigger apartment in the city, but the prices had gone up, so economicly it would become difficult.

At the same time a family member found a house in the countryside, only approx. 50 km away from the city. A nice house close to nature, beach and family.

The decision about moving wasn't really very well thought through. It just happened! There were a lot of good arguments, which made the doubt become background noise. The decision came creeping like 'now-we-have-children-we-should-live-in-a-house'-crises. And they also were affected of that so many friends had moved. Maybe it was good to swop the big city with nature.

They moved, and everybody said 'welcome home'. But they felt nothing like home. They felt, as if they had moved to the end of the world. And the feeling stayed, even though they kept waiting for, that it just had to come.

Lots of people came and helped making the house in order, and it became really nice. It also was very nice to have family dropping in. One came with home baked bread, another with flowers from the garden, and the friends, the few ones still living in the city, came visiting, everybody having a good time, while the kids were playing outside.

As to this day, they still hare hoping, that they will feel at home some day. That they will get used to live in the countryside. But they are still missing the city. After 4 years they still long to go back.

It can seem ungrateful, when you live a good life in a nice house in a nice location, but it doesn't make feeling disappear. They are honest about it. They let themselves suck into, what everybody else was doing. And they forgot to stay true to themselves.

This is not a story about if it is better to live in the city, and bad to live in the country. Because the story could have been reversed. It is not important.

It is entirely a story about being true to yourself and the feelings connected to family, friends, home, job, time off. Everything we fill our lives with, and make our lives feel meaningful and rich.

Don't do what everybody else do! Do, what feels right for you and your loved ones.

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