Friday, December 9, 2016

Julefrokost - Christmas Events

Måneden er fyldt med arrangementer, men jeg har skåret mine ned til et minimum for at have tid til at nyde de ting, som jeg deltager i. Så jeg deltager ikke i alt det, jeg plejede at gøre. December er for mig ikke - mere - lig med tungen ud af halsen hele måneden. Jeg har slået back, og jeg har fået det så meget bedre. Også økonomisk, for det koster altid noget at deltage i en masse ting.

Jeg har stadig 'faste' tilbagevendende aftaler, og jeg har stadig mange traditioner. Men jeg har skippet det, som var mere 'fordi vi altid har gjort det', og som reelt ikke fungerede mere. Det lyder hårdt, men det er også forkert at holde andre mennesker som gidsler, hvis man ikke giver slip, så de kan finde andre at invitere, som sætter pris på det - og lidt nye mennesker er altid godt. Det kan ryste lidt op i en forsamling, der ellers ender i de samme skurer ved hver højtid.

En af mine tilbagevendende aftaler er Logens, hvis 'formål' er at mødes første onsdag i december. Den startede, da en ven i kredsen mistede sin mor, og hun og moderen havde en tradition med at mødes første onsdag i december og spise frokost og gå en tur og se på julelysene. En anden ven fik ideen, at hun i hvert fald ikke skulle være alene den første onsdag efter moderens død, så vi mødtes - og det blev en tradition. Et par af os ses bare den ene gang om året (vi har dog kendt hinanden, siden vi var i begyndelse af tyverne), men det er altid, som om vi så hinanden for 14 dage siden.

Så hold fast ved det, der fungerer, og kom ud af det, som bare er blevet en forpligtelse. Det er det mest respektfulde for alle parter.

Vi har altid en lille gave med, som vi trækker lod om.
Beløbet er fast og  ganske lille, det gælder om at være kreativ.
We always bring a little present, which we draw lots about. 
The amount is set to be quite small, so it's all about being creative

This month is filled with get-togethers, but I have cut to the bone to have time to enjoy the events, I participate in. So I don't go to all the events, I used to. December is no longer a time with a lot of running around from one place to another for 31 days. I cut back, and I feel so much better. Also economy wise, because every event costs something.

I still have the 'solid' returning events, and I still have many traditions. But I have skipped the ones, which was 'because we always have done that'. It might sound cold, but participating without being whole-hearted is to take other people hostage, so you should let go, so they can find others to invite, who appreciates it - and getting to know new people is always good. It can shake-up a circle of people, who otherwise always end up doing the same things.

One of my returning appointments is the girls' loge, which 'purpose' is to meet the first Wednesday in december. It started, when a friend lost her mother in Autumn, and she and her mother had the tradition to meet the that day to have lunch and see the Christmas lights in the streets. Another friend got the idea, that she shouldn't sit alone that day after the mother's death, so we got together that year - and it became a tradition. A couple of us only see each other that one time a year (but we have know eachother since our early twenties), but it is always, as if we saw eachother last week.

So stick to what works, and get out of what doesn't, because it has turned into an obligation. It is the most respectful thing for all parties.

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